Why this difference...........

This post is on something which I have gone through. I really don't know about the other places but the place I lived in has this peculiar behavior.
Now comes the experience part....... actually its not just one single experience.
When I was small that means 9-14 years whenever I went to a shop if that person is an acquaintance then he would talk to me call me gudiya(doll) and all that.
This used to happen always. But when I grew up and became some 15 16 yrs old the same person doesn't even talk to me. Now here I would like to say i surely don't want him to call me gudiya. But he can be as free as before. No, its not that I crave for attention its just that I feel no need to accept the unnecessary change.
I really think that's awful to behave differently with someone just because of age.
Then what I just used to sit there talking to my parents. Now another thing is the girls who have a habit of talking so much are labeled characterless girls.Huh! I really don't get that how can someone be characterless( that type) just because of talking to someone.
All these things which is because of the dire inquisitiveness of the society and as I always say If society accepts then all will be accepted. Don't you think some rules of the society are really stopping it from reaching the sky and rather pulling it down to the deep depth.
Don't you think so?

Parents and sex.............!!!!

Today's topic is a very sensitive one. So let me start with the incident itself.
This incident took place in KV. We were as usual sitting at our common place. So as always a serious topic came over. Now that day it was about sex. When we started talking off it, one of my close friends said "I don't like that, it reduces respect to my parents an my brother(recently married), its immoral".
Now how can I explain to her she was also born due to this so called immoral act.
Not only her many of my friends thought so that sex is bad and once children are born parents should not engage in that. I really don't get that. Are parents just servants to take care of children. Don't they have their own life.
Now another point, the girl also said I sleep with my mom and my dad sleeps in a separate room. Now its not necessary that they always have sex, they can talk of some serious family matters too.
This is where I think the holy relationship of husband and wife is made unholy. When God has united them who are we to separate them.

Illegitimate huh!!!!

This is an issue about which I really feel very bad. Why is the child made to suffer a lot when he/she is not born of a marriage. Why do people call that child a bas***d. It has become a common bad word, a word to insult someone.
When I was small that means in the middle school some of my friends used to say that word and so I also started saying that word. But I soon stopped that on my parents' correction.
Actually many people say that knowingly or unknowingly. I don't blame people for that because some of them don't even know its meaning.
The thing what actually matters here is our perspective. Whats wrong in being illegitimate. There is life, there is feeling and the most important there is love. Now a point which comes here is we think marriage is necessary but can't those standards which we made be changed. Yes, they can be but no one just has the courage. Not even the people in big positions,as they also think as the society thinks. Here let me make a point clear that I am not against marriages. But those who did not marry and had a child for them can't the rules be changed. Is that child not a human?
I really don't understand why people don't accept such children. When the child is at no fault at all.

Bad vs Worse!!!!

Today I am going to compare bad with worse and you have to choose your one option and tell me why.
An adult channel started being aired in a small city. Many people went to the cable operator talking about the impact it would have on the children watching it.
And soon it was removed.
When one of the famous actors(female)did a bold role in a film many other stars came up to the media criticizing her. Saying how could she do this. Its against the culture and so on.

But in both the cases what I would like to say to the concerned is more than an adult channel or a bold role, the things which have a bad impact on children or are against our culture are cheating other people to fill own pockets, making others feel inferior on the basis of the so called caste system, taking a human life, gender bias, treating some jobs down market, showing pride, giving importance to only moneyed people and many more such things which many people do without feeling a single prick of conscience.
Its just really awful to have such thinking.



note: its just comparison of bad with worse not good with bad.

A Tom Boy????

Girls often find joy in saying that they are tom boys. I had a friend who used to always say that she is a complete boy she doesn't like to wear suits she always likes to link more with boys than girls.
Why do you think she must have said that? Just for proving herself superior to the other girls out there and not because she really is like that. Now another question that arises here is that do boys take pride in saying that they are like girls? No not at all instead they say things like crying like girls or if you have no power sit at home wearing bangles like girls. So they are ashamed of being girls.
Many girls who consider themselves modern are found themselves comparing with boys.
What I personally believe is be on the top by being what you are and by comparing themselves with boys we make us ultimately inferior.
Being a girl is not at all a shame.

And now I am not at all saying girls means only salwars and bangles and all that crying. No not at all.

Clothes Decide????

Today's post is going to be something which I think many of us follow.
Now tell me what will you think about a girl wearing a baggy salwar suit and the other girl wearing some latest fashion.
Many will think oh! suit, she must must be from a village and the other girl, hey she's cool good looks she seems to be modern.
But what I have to say on this issue is is it right to determine someone by his/her clothes.
In the earlier case it could be found that the the girl in suit is much more up to date than the other girl.
But this is what often happens.
If this is the truth then why do people say"Simple Living & High Thinking".
Does it have any importance here?
Is it not awful that with high thinking we have to make ourselves the so called modern.

Patriotism ????

Today's post will be about patriotism. Many Indians specially who consider themselves very patriotic are often seen starting a new business or anything new on the religious festivals. This is because they think they can show patriotism to the country only by dying for it. But that's not completely true.
The example I am going to mention here is not for making clear the point above but is instead to show such people who have wrong notions about patriotism that there are many people who also believe the other way round.

The example is of my own father. He was a smoker till 2002 jan 26. But on 26/jan/2002 he left smoking for ever.
He did not decide to leave smoking on any of our religious festivals, as on Christmas which had just been celebrated on 25th of the previous month. Instead decided to do it on the special day of the country

So the point which I want to make clear is, many Indians who consider themselves as patriots never feel such closeness with the country so as to do something which is very important to them on days dedicated to the country.

Is It civilised?..........

Today the issue I would like to discuss is people are usually seen behaving as animals in parties specially marriage parties. They wait till the announcement is made food and then the marriage party becomes a place of bull fight. It will not be wrong to say that some of them just come to have food only.
Not only this, but many other things show that food is the primary need for all of us.
See, for example in the west when somebody goes to someone's house and the host is doing some serious office work or something else like that, then the guest goes away promising to come later. But if the host is having meals then the guest comes and sits inside and even eats with the host. But in India we see its completely opposite.
This shows how much concerned we are about food. And I don't think, this much concern about food is the behaviour of intellectuals. So much concern about food only shows that how much animal we are in our behaviour.

"Got to become a college girl tomorrow"....!!!!!!!!

Dear friends after a 40 day long journey of continuous posting its time to become weekly in my postings. This change has occurred because now after 3 months and eight day long holiday I also have to go. Holidays seemed boring but now that they have come to an end I feel sad. Ne’er mind that’s life.

The week from tomorrow being the first week in college I would take time to adjust to the atmosphere. Rest depends on the schedule.
So keep visiting friends to see some of my previous posts.
Though I won’t be posting daily but do expect me on Sundays.

Meet you all on Sunday same time same place till then " Phir milenge, Verute, see you soon"
Your friend
Shobhna

What System....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So finally today I am going to discuss a point which is really a question to the education system in India. But before starting my post let me ask you all a question. Tell me that “is learning a lot of matter and not registering much of it ok”?

We all know that these days the school and other syllabus’ have increased so much so that students don’t know what to study and what not to study. So they study partially and not in depth to just answer the questions which can get them a pass mark and after that forget it all.

Even I don’t remember what I studied in my high school when my dad remembers it all even now.
Here you might not completely blame the syllabus, as you may think interest and the way teachers taught at that time should also be considered , but I feel syllabus is the ultimate factor as it makes the teachers to teach fast and students to lose interest.

So I would like to ask you all that…. is it correct to make the students learn so much in an inefficient way which will not benefit anybody but rather create more problems. Such a big problem is a threat to our country’s future. As this system can’t instill an interest in the students but only make them hate study.

Half Truths.........

As we grow older and wiser we begin to see things as a whole rather than as in our younger days. When we are younger we focus on partial truths..

For example, we focused on the few successful people who had been school dropouts and contrasted them with the failures who had completed school. Why did we not contrast successful people who had completed school with failures who dropped out of school?

Another example is…
…we felt Rabindranath Tagore was an advocate of action against prayer and chanting when he said, “Leave this prayer and chanting….” It will be far from the truth if we say that Tagore was not a man of prayer and contemplation.

His words are rightly addressed to those who do only prayer and chanting in a ritual fashion and are not concerned about the hardworking and the poor. His lines are written not as a support to people who shun prayer and escape contemplation.

Ultimate Settlement...........????

I often see that for many not all of the Indians have a wrong idea that marriage is the ultimate settlement in life. This idea is very often for girls and less often for boys. There is a good example for this case also.
The place where I was in till now gives me a very good example to show this.
There was a girl in my neighbourhood. After she completed her twelfth her mom started searching for a groom but she continued study so that no one should say anything. She did her B.A from a nearby college. This means that study was just a means to be saved from the people’s bad comments but ultimately marriage is perfect settlement for them.

Now what I feel about such issues is why does a girl need some help for leading her life. I say this because when we talk of girls, life partner is not a partner but a support to the helpless women but when we talk of a man’s life partner its somebody needed to look after the house and cook food for him. WHY?

No Freedom..............

Many Parents especially of the girls I have seen they don’t allow their children to talk to the opposite sex. Here I don’t say that parents should allow anything or everything. I don’t mean either that the parents should not allow their children to experience liberty.
The best example I can think of here is, there was a girl in my class whose dad and mom didn’t even allow taking notes from boys. Her dad used to send kind of bodyguards with her wherever she went. Now one day when a new boy came to our class she was just mad after him. She tried to talk and on friendship day gave him one friendship band. He just wanted to have fun so he accepted it. She told her parents that she was going for tuition and went with him for a date right in class ten. She failed in the quarterly exams.
If her parents had taught her to be normal human being and not to be scared of boys then she would not have got so mad after him as she would have taken him as any other boy. After all getting attracted is biological.
Such parents think children will lose path if they give them freedom.
But instead I think if freedom is there and parents trust there children then children will surely show responsibility.

Money Money Money.......................

Today’s issue is about money. The main thing is those who are money minded they don’t value any other person’s money. For many people I have seen money is so important that they forget to spend time with their loved ones for whom the money is made. People get so involved with money that their value system gets manipulated according to that.
My classmates they were so money minded that they never used to spend anything on others. There was one friend of mine who used to come with me to school. So after class when we used to buy some ice cream (Kulfi)>. One day I had forgotten to take money and so she gave me 5 rupees for the ice cream and soon told me to return it tomorrow. I did not feel like eating that ice cream. I returned her the money at that time only. I don’t say that people shouldn’t value money but I say why take other peoples money and not return it and when their money is taken they keep asking. Some of my classmates keet asking for 2 rupees also.
They never made any phone calls only missed calls. When India won the T-20 World Cup they congratulated each other by giving missed calls. They tell others to call as otherwise they have to spend money.
Ah! Such a money minded mentality.

Shut Their Mouths (contd).........

Today I will give you another example about how inquisitive the society is. The society is bound to interfere.
For example if a girl’s marriage is getting delayed due to finance or other problems, we see that the people out there start talking of her badly. They say “ may be she’s having an affair” or they say “may be someone used her”. And what do the parents do? They marry her off as soon as they can to shut the people’s mouth.

I would surely like to tell you this is not restricted to women. Men are also often ridiculed and insulted for issues like unemployment etc.

Another example which I have noticed only in the place where I studied. In my neighbourhood daily some 6 -7 women sit outside their house and pass comments on whoever passed by. They commented on the walk the clothes etc. And I tell it feels really awful.

If society changes then social evils like rape etc will not haunt the victim as it does now.
In this the main part is of the victim who by coming forward can shut such ridiculing mouths.

Society Decides When It Has No Part To Play....

I have seen in many cases the matter should remain within the family only but it doesn’t it comes out and society is the one which decides.
For example if a girl is raped. In most of such cases the parents don’t accept her. Why? Because if they do so, then they will be insulted in front of all.
When no one gave her food or money to study who are they to decide her destiny.
Another thing I see is if something like that happens with the girl she is the one who is insulted when the real culprit moves around freely. This is also because of the society.
One more thing which is the most important one is no one marries a such a girl. As its believed there is no use of her any more. Is virginity everything? Or a women does not have any other purpose than producing children? Has she not to be pure at heart. I don't think if there is no virginity she is not pure.
Even the educated class does not accept such a girl. In all such cases society is the main culprit. Which decides the destiny of not only such girls but many other people.
Who has given them this right?

To be contd…